Confession @ 8th & Penn SE. Captiol Hill
In not so recent days, a couple of people, actually one, has been wondering if I will ever hold a full fledge conversation with them again. I won't lie, there have been a few people I quasi-cut from my life. I don't have much (if any at all) contact with them anymore. I just choose to remain silent to each of them for different reasons. My silence has been worrisome on their part. I never really fully explained my silence just to say I was tired of explaining myself to them and/or they just never saw where I was coming from no matter how many times and how many angles I tried to get my point across. Their skull was just to thick to absorb the information.
I will admit, one person I randomly thought of so much that he contacted me out of the blue to pick up his stalkerish ways. I think I deserved that, since my mind was always wondering what happen to.....
Nevertheless he hasn't contacted me since that random day in January.
In my thinking and listening to the song "Never (Past Tense)" sung by Tina Arena, I was able to shoot some thoughts down in a matter of minutes. It's still a rough draft. I may tweak it a bit later on. However, I just felt like writing to those that I have chosen to remain silent to.
Maybe they will understand, especially one particular person.... he knows.
Silence
By Mahoganie
April 3, 2008
Washington, DC
My Silence
Itself
Is not for you to understand
Yet it is for you and I to stop
Where there is nothing left
To say
To give
To take
To love or live for
Each other
My Silence
Itself
Is not a signal of hate
It is my shield
For the rampart conceals me from
What is left of you
You still hide nearby
My Silence
Itself
Is my exhaust
For it is me working and seeking
My own existence
That was lost in you
My Silence
Itself
Is part me learning on
Loving me more
Is part you
Still haunted by what was
And What Became
My Silence
Itself
Is learning to listen
To a voice
Other than yours & my own
Living without noise
My Silence
Itself
May hurt
Yet it can never bare the many thorns
Which you secretly used against me
My scars ran deep
Causing utter blindness
My reality became a fallacy
We were a fairytale
My Silence
Is mine
Self-inflicted
So,
With no excuses
With no shame
With no blame
Silent I shall remain.
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